Two weeks ago I started taking feminising hormones, after signing up with the private gender health provider, GenderGP. I had signed up with the NHS a few years ago, when I first came out, but obviously the waiting lists are long and getting longer all the time.
With GenderGP, you pay a sign-up fee and then a monthly subscription, which gets you access to their healthcare team. They ask you various questions, ascertaining your requirements and your medical history, before recommending a plan.
You can then sign up with one of their recommended pharmacy providers, for mail order delivery, or can get the prescription sent to you to be filled out at your preferred pharmacy. They can also liaise with your GP to share care. I had hoped this would happen, but I couldn’t get my GP to accept their transition pack, so I opted for the online option.
A few days later, the medication arrived. I was sent three months’ supply of estrogen, progesterone (feminising hormones) and Spironolactone (androgen blocker).
And so, on March 18th I took my first doses, and now I sit back and wait for changes to happen! This may take 1 to 3 months for anything noticeable to begin, and then gradual changes in body shape over 3 to 5 years (breast growth, fuller hips, softer skin, decrease in body hair growth).
I was asked if this meant I was transitioning, which confused me at first. I think I am already transitioning, at least I have socially. I think they were asking if this meant I was transitioning to be a woman, and I still don’t think I am. I really still don’t feel like I am a woman. I definitely know I’m not a man, but I am something else.
I identify as trans feminine/non binary. I’m neither a man nor a woman, but aesthetically I’m more feminine than masculine, and so I wanted to start on hormone therapy to mould my body to match my desired appearance. Of course, in a binary world this confuses a lot of people – I don’t know myself which toilet I should use, so I usually use the rule of thumb as to how I’m presenting on the day to choose which way to walk. (Shout out to places like the National Portrait Gallery who have gender neutral toilets with self-contained rooms with a toilet and a sink, this is the way.)
I’m waiting to see if feel any different. The first night I was lying in bed, wondering if I was feeling something already, and I still question every time something feels different. I spent ten minutes the other day wondering if the tip of my nose felt softer! It doesn’t help that I’ve had a rotten cold for the last two weeks, and a lot on at work which has made me tired anyway.
I don’t know where the road will take me, or how I’ll look/feel at the end of it, but I’m excited to be on the journey! If you want to ask any questions, please feel free!
Positively Catie 